Roller Coaster Tycoon

This week was rough

So part of getting PCOS under control is hormone regulation. Which is just terrible. I’m one of those girls who never wanted to ever have to take birth control, ever. I don’t like the idea of pseudo hormones turning my body into a fun land roller coaster. I refused them for years despite the fact that doctors and society pushed them on me incessantly. But PCOS means I have to take them, which really pisses me off. It doesn’t even actually cure anything just suppresses the symptoms so my body can HOPEFULLY heal itself!

deep breath

Anyways I’m through my first pack of pills as of today. The first couple of weeks seemed okay but this week was really awful. I don’t really want to go into the gooey details so let’s just say there were physiological and emotional side effects that while some were expected, some totally blindsided me. I want to throw the meds in the trash but I know I can’t. I think the worst part is that I have to let these terribly frustrating things happen long enough that the doctor believes the hormone levels cause them. Then they prescribe different ones, which starts that process all over again.

Besides the physical changes, which I don’t need to explain but trust me, they suck. This week has been emotionally draining, sad, angry, pathetic feels just bubble up whenever they want. Tuesday and Wednesday I slipped right back into some bad old habits, McDonald’s breakfast, Jimmy Johns, eating second dinner (The hobbits got it right) and a pint of ice cream… All of which just made me feel worse

Despite the fact that this week was well, the worst so far, I’m going to end on a positive note. Today I managed to stay within my limits in addition to trying to make new food. Lunch was strawberries and a tuna sandwich. For dinner I made organic veggie tacos and they weren’t half bad. I think with a different (more mild) mix they could be something I would eat regularly.

tacos

I EVEN got my bike out and went for a ride. Its 4 miles to the movies so I rode my bike there, rewarded myself with a movie, and then I had to ride back.

I wish that I could do this perfectly and that I didn’t absolutely HATE the treatment for what I’ve got. Here’s hoping for a good day tomorrow.

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